Sideshow Slideshow
by Sideshow Bob Roberts
Summary: During a slideshow of the simpsons cross-country vacation, Bart sees something in every picture: Sideshow Bob! Bob takes the simpsons hostage and tells them about his adventures in following them. My first ORIGINAL fic! Chapter 4 is up!
1. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Bob

_**SIDESHOW SLIDESHOW**_

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**Whoo-hoo! This is my first ORIGINAL Simpsons fic. No movie parody/spoof. I really hope you enjoy it, I really do...**

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CHAPTER ONE: CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN BOB 

Marge and Lisa are preparing the projector for the slides in the living room. Homer walks in holding an enormous amount of food.

"Homer, is that for everybody or just you?" Marge asks.

"Oh, you guys want some? I'll be right back." He goes back to the kitchen.

"This was a great idea to show off our slides from our cross-country vacation mom." Lisa says.

"Thanks honey. I thought it would be fun if we remembered all the good times we had." Marge replies as she turns the projector on.

"Yeah, it's also good to remember the days that Homer actually goes outside!" Bart laughs. Unfortunately, Homer had entered the room when Bart said that.

Homer drops the food he was carrying and runs to Bart. "WHY YOU LITTLE!!!" He starts choking Bart.

"Break it up you two, Patty and Selma will be here any minute!" Marge says as she picks up the food that Homer dropped on the floor.

"AWWWW! Marge, why do they have to come?"

"Because, they're the ones that always show slides to us, so why not return the favor?" She puts the food in a huge pile on the table.

"Fine..." Homer grumbles. The doorbell rings. "Oh, here's Bat One and Bat Two now!"

"HOMER! Be nice to them!" Marge yells to Homer.

"Can't make any promises, Marge!" He opens the door. "Well speak of the devil! Or should I say DEVILS!" Homer laughs.

"Move it lard-o!" Patty shoves Homer out of the way. Selma follows.

"Patty, Selma! Great to see you again!" Marge hugs her sisters.

"Great to see you too Marge." Selma pulls out a cigarette. "So, you got some slides, huh?"

"Yes we do! From our recent vacation." Marge sits down on the couch. Homer comes over and sits next to her. "Homie, could you pull up the projection screen?"

"But, Marge, I just sat down!"

"I'll do it, mom!" Lisa runs over to the screen and pulls it up.

"Thank you honey. Now, everyone enjoy the show!" Marge grabs the clicker so she can change slides manually. "Homer do you want to narrate?"

"Nah, I'm eating." Homer says with a mouth full of food.

Bart responds to this almost immediately. "There's a surprise!" Homer just stares angrily at Bart.

Marge clicks to the first slide. "Here's us packing for our trip!" The picture shows Marge holding her suitcase. She moves on to the next photo. It shows Homer with his suitcases, one with clothes sticking out of it and the other with the label **Homer's Food. NO ONE EAT EXCEPT FOR HOMER!** The next slide shows them putting the luggage in the car. Bart sits up from his seat in shock. He thought he saw something...or someone. Marge moves on to the next photo. It shows them getting in to the car. Bart definitely sees something.

"MOM, wait! Look!!" He points to a tree in the background. In it is something reddish-brown. Kind of, well...fluffy. "Do, you know what that could be?"

"Probably just some hairy branches. Move on Marge!" Homer says.

Marge moves on. This picture shows Maggie, Bart and Lisa in the backseat. As do the next few. On the last one of the backseat photos. Bart sees the same reddish-brown thing along with something else.

_Oh, my God! Is that who I think it is? _Bart thinks. _It has to be! Look at the size of that shoe! It's huge!_

Marge moves on to the next picture. It shows the Simpsons at a rest stop.

Bart jumps on the couch. "LOOK!!!!" He points to a figure in the back near some trees.

"It's probably just a bum, keep going Marge!" Homer says, still eating.

"NO! I'm trying to tell you that we're all in danger!" Bart says.

Homer turns to Bart. "Yeah, in danger of not getting through this! Pick up the pace Marge!"

_I'm not getting through to them! I've got to find a picture where he's clearly visible! _As Marge clicks through several more pictures, Bart finally sees the picture he's been looking for. "AH-HA! LOOK! See, right there!" The picture that he's looking at is a picture of a crowd. He points to a tall, somewhat pale man. "THAT'S--"

Sideshow Bob pops up in their window. "ME!!!!"

"SIDESHOW BOB!!!!!!" They all yell in horror, except for Homer who fell asleep.

"Homie, wake up! We're in danger." Marge shakes Homer trying to wake him up. Sideshow Bob climbs into the house with a rope. "Homer, wake up!!" She takes the donut out of his hand. Homer immediately wakes up.

"Hey, I was eating that." He sees Bob in the middle of the room with a gun. He shrieks. "SIDESHOW MEL!!!!!"

Bob groans. "My name is Bob. Sideshow Bob! You are thinking of the dolt who replaced me on Krusty's show." Homer stares blankly. "Your son sent me to prison?" He tries to jolt Homer's memory. "I've tried to kill you all several times in elaborate situations?" Homer sits quietly, still forgetting who he is. "I'm a man with a gun! Just sit down in the middle of the room!!"

"Gun. That's all you had to say. Can I bring my food?" Homer asks.

"Sure why not?" Bob says.

"WHOO-HOO!"

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**Coming up in Chapter 2: Bob explains why he is in almost every picture.**

**Reviews would be greatly, greatly appreciated!**


	2. Night Of The Living Bob

**So, to feed my appetite for movie parodies, each chapter will be a spoof on a movie title. see:**

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**CHAPTER TWO: NIGHT OF THE LIVING BOB**

Sideshow Bob now has the Simpson family, and Patty and Selma, tied up in the center of the living room. "Now, I suppose you all are wondering why I am constantly appearing in your photographs, hmm?" Bob asks.

"Not really, I wasn't paying attention!" Homer says after swallowing a donut. "Um, could I have another donut, please?" Bob walks over and sticks a donut in Homer's mouth. He chews noisily on it.

"Well, for the rest of you then, here is what happened: I had escaped from prison early that morning. I found my way to your quaint little house and made my first attempt at Bart's life at this time."

**FLASHBACK TO MORNING OF VACATION**

Homer and Marge are packing their bags in their room. Marge is neatly folding and placing clothes in her case. Homer is tossing stuff in one of his. In the other he places food. Bart was already packed and is playing with Santa's Little Helper outside. Bob was in the bushes, watching him. "All right, Bart just a few more inches to the left." He says quietly to himself. He was trying to shoot Bart.

"Bart!" Marge yells from upstairs. "Get your things, we're about ready to go!"

"Coming mom!" Bart runs into the house.

Bob attempts to shoot Bart. "Blast! I missed. I shall have to try a more technical approach..."

**FLASHBACK ENDS**

"You tried to shoot my little boy? How could you?!" Marge struggles to get loose, but with no success.

"How could I, Marjorie? I'm a homicidal maniac, it's what I do." Bob clears his throat. "Now, back to my story." He goes to the next slide.

**FLASHBACK RESUMES**

Bob was cutting the brakes to Marge's car as the Simpsons were getting ready to go. He jumps the fence and climbs into a tree.

"Smile!" Grandpa says as he takes the picture of the Simpson family in front of their car. Except for Homer who is trying to shove the suitcases in the trunk.

"Now, Grandpa, are you sure you'll be fine watching the house while we're gone?" Marge says as she gets in the car.

"Don't worry about me, I'll survive!"

The family says good bye and hop into Homer's car. Grandpa takes another picture before they leave and hands them the camera. The Simpsons leave.

"Damn! Wrong car...I should've cut both brakes to be safe." Bob hops down from the tree. He starts to walk into the direction of the Simpsons, but immediately steps on a rake. The rake flies up and hits him in the face. "Oh, 'tis been a while since we've last met, worthy foe." He takes the rake and breaks it in half out of anger. "Well, now to follow Bart and family." He starts to run in the direction of the car.

Meanwhile, the Simpsons were discussing where they are going to go. "So, where should we go first?" Marge says as she takes a picture of the kids in the backseat.

"How about a museum?" Lisa asks.

Bart responds. "Lise, you should know by now that neither me or Homer wants to go to a museum!"

"Ain't that the truth!" Homer turns to the backseat and high-fives Bart.

The car stops at a stop light. Bob has finally caught up to them. He ducks behind a mailbox. His hair is clearly showing as well as one of his feet. _Now, should I hop onto the car and follow, or should I continue on foot? _He thinks. But before he can come up with an answer the car takes off. _On foot it is..._

Later, the kids start to get restless in the backseat. "Dad, can we stop somewhere?" Lisa asks. "I really have to go to the bathroom!"

"Oh, fine!" Homer drives on for a little while before he finds a rest stop. "Here we are! Go on kids, go to the bathroom. We'll wait right--" Homer's stomach gurgles. "GOTTA GO! Watch the car Marge!" Homer grunts as he gets out of the car and runs to the bathrooms. Marge takes a picture of this because she finds this funny.

Bob was in the back near the trees. _The Simpsons! Now's my chance!_ He climbs into the window of the restroom. _Now, which stall is Bart in? _He searches for a while before the smell drives him out of the bathroom. _Oh, my God! I'll kill Bart later! I can't take one more second in here!!! _He runs for the window and almost gets stuck climbing out. He falls out to the other side.

In the bathrooms, Homer comes out of the stall. "Whoo, no more burritos for me!"

Homer and the kids go back to the car. "Let's ride!" Homer says as he slams his foot on the gas pedal.

Bob is still in the back near the trees. _Back to the chase, I suppose. _Bob once again runs down the road to the Simpsons.

**FLASHBACK ENDS**

"You tried to kill me in the bathroom? Man, you are demented!" Bart says.

"Thank you. But your oaf of a father stopped me."

"With my bowels!" Homer says after finishing another donut. "Could you hand me another candy, Bill?"

"It's BOB! Sideshow Robert "Bob" Terwilliger!!!"

"I didn't ask for your life story, just give me a candy!" Bob throws a candy at Homer, he catches it in his mouth. "Mmmmmm, chocolate."

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**Coming up in chapter three: The Simpsons go to Downtown springfield and start their way to the next state! And Homer keeps eating...**


	3. Live And Let Bob

**CHAPTER THREE: LIVE AND LET BOB**

"Have you satisfied your hunger, Homer?" Bob asks Homer who is licking the chocolate off his lips.

"Perhaps...come back to me on that Barry."

"It's BOB!!!" No response from Homer, just a blank stare. "Never mind. Let's get back to the story..." Bob clicked to the next slide. "After the bathroom incident I followed you to downtown Springfield. You parked your car into a parking garage--poorly, I might add--and walked out it and into the crowd." Bob clicks to the next slide. It shows Bart, Lisa and Homer in a crowd in downtown Springfield.

**FLASHBACK TO THE SIMPSONS IN A CROWD IN DOWNTOWN SPRINGFIELD**

"Smile!" Marge says as she takes a picture of the family.

Bob was following them from a short distance in the crowd. _Now how am I going to get rid of them? I can't do it in a crowd! _He thinks to himself.

"What should we do for our last day in Springfield?" Marge asks.

Lisa responds quickly. "How about--"

"No museums, Lise." Bart says, stopping her.

"Fine." Lisa crosses her arms and looks around as she walks. "Hey, how about a show?" Lisa says pointing to a theater that they passed.

"Ooh, a movie! And where there is a movie, there's food!" Homer licks his lips.

"Not a movie, dad! A LIVE show."

"Well...only if its a GOOD one!" Homer says.

"Hey!" Bart looks at the sign. "How about this new one, **Death of A Clownsman** ?"

"If it has the word death in it, it must be good!" Homer walks into the theater. Lisa and Marge follow.

"I just hope the actors don't try to interact with the audience." Marge murmurs to herself as she enters.

Bob runs to the theater. "Death Of A Clownsman? That's perfect! How ironic that they'd pick a show that I know all the words to!" Bob laughs and runs in. As Homer was buying the tickets, Bob went backstage. "Now, all I have to do is disguise myself as the main character and kill Bart and family in the crowd. The audience will think its an act, and I'll get away! It's perfect!!" He whispers quietly to himself. "Now to find that clown..."Bob looks around. He sees a man dressed as a clown who is holding a script.

"I hate this stinkin' show." He walks to his dressing room and opens the door. "I wish that someone would just get me outta this stupid show." He goes in. "Oh, well. I guess I'll just take a little catnap before the show starts." The man sits in the chair. "I'll just leave the door wide open where anyone could come in." He goes to sleep.

"Bingo!" Bob goes into the dressing room and shuts the door. "Sleep well, my clown brother. For I shall play the fool today!" Bob gets into costume.

A few minutes later, the Simpsons were in their seats and ready for the show. Homer is eating some candy. Marge sees this. "Homer, where did you get that?"

He swallows. "Brought it in with me." He continues to eat.

Marge sits back in her seat. As the music starts, she gets nervous.

Some women dressed as clowns dance onto the stage and sing:

**Here comes the clowns,**

**Those wacky, laughy jesters.**

**Here comes the clowns,**

**Some people they do pester.**

**Here comes the clowns**

**But underneath their smiles, lies frowns**

**Here comes a clown**

**The clown whose painted smile is on upside down...**

Bob rises from a trapdoor in the stage. He looks for the Simpsons in the crowd. The female dancers dance around behind him. He sees the Simpsons and starts to sing.

**I may be but a humble clown**

**But my life does have its ups and downs**

**And because of this, this roller coaster of emotions**

**I fear it shall lead me to dishonorable notions**

Bob starts to walk into the audience, still singing. Marge sees him coming and turns to Bart. "Please don't come over here, please don't come over here..." She keeps saying.

Bart pats on her shoulder. "Relax mom, he's not coming." Marge sighs and faces the stage. Bob was right in her face, standing in the seat in front of her. She screams. "Because he's already here!" Bart laughs hysterically. Bob continues to sing.

**And now, I fear its time to end**

**This life that is filled with sin.**

**But if I must go, someone will as well.**

**The one, the one who made my life a living hell!**

Bob raises his hand, holding a knife, and prepares to stab Bart and family. But what he didn't know was that while he was on stage looking for the Simpsons, the dancers behind him attached a harness to his back without him knowing. A man backstage pulled and Bob went flying over the audience and over the stage.

As he hovers over the stage, thoughts are racing through his head. _Damn, so close! I'll have to get them later, right now I have an audience to entertain! _Bob continues singing.

About an hour later, the Simpsons exit the theater. Bart makes the first comment about the show. "Boy, that sure sucked! The only good part is when mom freaked out because of that clown!" Bart starts to laugh.

Marge stops him. "Well, I didn't think it was very funny at all. See if we ever go here again!" Marge walks across the street.

Homer follows. "Oh, lighten up Marge, it was just a show!" Homer looks at the ground for a few seconds. "Now that we're done with that, can we--"

"Yes, we can go someplace to eat." Marge says.

"WHOO-HOO!" Homer runs into the parking garage.

Bart and Lisa catch up to Marge. "Where's dad?" Lisa asks.

"He went to get the car. He was in such a rush! All I did was say we're getting--" Homer comes flying out of the garage and brakes in front of Marge and the kids.

"Food!! Let's go! Chop-chop!" Homer honks the horn a few times. The family gets in.

They drive past the theater. Bob was just getting out as they drove by. "My best performance ever, if you ask me." He says to himself. He sees the Simpsons driving down the road. "And the chase continues." He starts to walk, but steps on a rake. "A rake? Downtown?" He looks at the building next to the theater. The sign says: **Larry's Rakes.** Bob sighs and starts to run.

**END FLASHBACK**

"You were the creepy clown that scared the jeebies out of me!" Marge says.

"Yes, that was me."

"You tried to kill us in front of hundreds of people? First the bathroom, now this..." Bart taunts Bob.

"Quiet you! I can assure you, it only gets worse from here." Bob says as he clicks to the next slide.

"Awwww, there's more?!" Homer shouts. "Well, can I at least have some popcorn?"

"If it will keep you from interrupting, then yes." Bob grabs a handful of popcorn and throws it at Homer.

Homer catches most of it in his mouth. He starts to chew, but stops to say. "Mmmmmmm, popped corn."

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Coming up in Chapter Four: Hotel Hijinks!**


	4. Bob To The Future

**CHAPTER FOUR: BOB TO THE FUTURE**

"After you had a bite to eat, you exited downtown Springfield and checked into a hotel. I know this because I was there..." Bob clicks to the next slide which shows Bart and Lisa in the lobby of a hotel.

**FLASHBACK TO THE SIMPSONS STANDING AT A COUNTER OF A HOTEL**

"We would like two rooms, please." Marge says to the man at the counter.

"Sure thing!" The squeaky voiced teen goes to his computer and types in info.

Bob is in the back hiding behind a plant. _Two rooms? Perfect! The parents in one, and the kiddies in the other. Yes...now to find out which room._ Bob moves the plant closer to the desk slowly to spy on Marge and the boy.

"Here's your keys. Room 215 & 216." The boy hands them the keys.

"Thank you very much. Let's go kids. Homie? Homie, where are you?" Marge looks around.

"Over here!" Homer is at a vending machine grabbing some food.

"Homer, you just ate!"

"That was minutes ago Marge! I'm hungry now!!"

"Fine, when you get your food, come up to room 215. Okay?"

"You got it, Marge." Homer watches as Marge and kids get in the elevator. He moves out of the way of his hand. "GIVE ME MY HAND BACK!" Homer had got his hand stuck in the machine trying to grab a candy bar that wouldn't release. "Why does this always happen to me?" Homer continues to struggle with the machine.

Bob steps up the counter to get a room for the night. "Excuse me, I was wondering if I could have a room. Preferably on the second floor." He says trying to get near Bart's room.

The boy types in the computer. "Sorry, all the rooms on the second floor are booked. We can give you one on the third floor, though."

"Fine."

As Bob was getting a room, Homer is still trying to get his hand out of the machine. He's resulted to punching it. "Stupid...machine...with...delicious...food!" He gives it one huge punch which releases the candy bar. Homer takes his hand out. "WHOO-HOO!" He unwraps the the candy bar and eats it. "Mmmmmm...candy bar." Homer walks to the elevator.

"...and here's your key! Room 315." The boy hands him the key.

"Thank you." Bob takes the key and walks to the elevator that Homer was in. "Hold the door, please."

"Sure..." Homer pushed the 'close' button quickly. He wants to eat his candy in peace. Bob walks in the elevator. Homer sighs. "What floor?"

"Third, please." Bob says to Homer.

**END FLASHBACK**

"Wait! Dad, you were in the elevator with Bob and you didn't tell us that he was there?!" Bart says to Homer.

"Who's Bob?" Homer asks.

"ME YOU BUFFOON!!!" Bob yells to Homer.

"I thought your name was Bernard!"

"You sir...are a moron." Bob says plainly to Homer.

"You wouldn't be the first to say so!"

"After Homer left the elevator, I went up to my floor and entered my room. I planned the next attack..."

**FLASHBACK TO BOB IN HIS HOTEL ROOM**

"Tonight's the night." Bob says as he puts a ski mask on his head. "I shall finally kill that meddlesome boy once and for all!" Bob pulls out a knife. "One thrust and the deed is done!" Bob laughs and puts the knife in his pocket. "In exactly three hours I shall attack! But now, I must rest. One will get tired after three encores of **Here Comes The Clowns**." He gets into the bed and sets the alarm.

Two hours and forty-five minutes later, Homer stumbles into the hotel drunk. He had left earlier to go and get a drink. He walks to the elevator and makes several attempts at pushing the button. The doors open. He gets in. "What room was I in again?" He thinks. "Oh yeah, 315!" He pushes the button and goes to the third floor.

He goes to Bob's room, which he thinks is his. "I hope Marge left the door open, 'cause I lost my key!" He opens the door. He walks over to Bob's bed. "Marge, are you awake?" No response from Bob. Homer undresses and gets into the bed. "Okay honey, then I'll just snuggle." He wraps his hands around Bob. "I love your big, soft hair" Homer feels Bob's hair "and pointy nose." Homer feels Bob's nose. "Wait, pointy nose? Uh-oh!" Homer jumps out of the bed. He knocks Bob's clock of the stand, unplugging it from the wall. He grabs his clothes and heads towards the door. "Sleep well stranger who I almost did it with." He whispers as he closes the door. Homer goes down a floor and to his room.

The next morning, Bob wakes up. He stretches. "Ah, time to kill Bart!" He looks out the window. "Wait a moment..." He gets out of bed and looks out the window. "Its morning!! What happened? I set my alarm, but what--" He looks at the alarm clock on the floor. He walks over and picks it up. "Hmmm, a maid must have came in during the night and knocked it over." He gasps. "Bart!" He runs down the stairs to the second floor. He barges in room 216, Bart and Lisa's room, only to discover that its empty. "Blast! Too late." He runs down to the lobby and sees the Simpsons getting in the car. "And the chase resumes..." He runs out the doors and follows the Simpsons.

**END FLASHBACK**

"If that maid hadn't knocked over my clock, you'd be dead right now!" Bob says pointing to Bart.

"Yeah...a maid." Homer laughs nervously. "Can I have a cupcake Blake?"

"Its Bob!" Bob walks over to Homer. He bends down to Homer's face. "Say it with me: Bob." He says slowly.

Homer stares for a few seconds. "Your breath smells delightful!"

"Ugh, never mind." He puts a cupcake in Homer's mouth and walks back to the slide projector.

Homer chews. "Mmmmmm, cupcake."

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**Coming up in chapter five: The Simpsons leave Springfield!**


	5. What About Bob?

**This is where I have a little trouble writing this story. Since we don't know where Springfield is, I took a note from the movie and started with one of the bordering states, Ohio, and going West from there. Just FYI. It took me a while due to the research needed for the state. Expect these long breaks between posts from now on. **

**oh, and I had to do a Drew Carey Show reference. They are in Cleveland, after all. **

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**Chapter Five: What About Bob?**

"After you left the hotel, you made you drove out of downtown Springfield and made your way to the next state. I was close behind...very close."

"Wait." Homer interrupts.

Bob puts down the clicker. "What now?"

"Before we do a flashback thingy, can I have a sandwich?"

Bob sighs. "What kind?"

"Hmm...surprise me, Bertrand." Bob ignores being called the wrong name again and picks up a sandwich that is on the table amongst the other food. He walks over to Homer and sticks it in his mouth. "Mmmm...mystery sandwich." Homer says with a mouthful of food. Bob walks back to the slide projector and clicks to the next slide.

**FLASHBACK TO SIMPSONS IN CAR**

"So, where to kids?" Marge asks as she winds up the camera.

Lisa closes her book. "How about--"

"Cleveland, Ohio!" Homer interrupts.

"Cleveland? Why would we go to that cruddy place?" Bart asks.

"That's why!" Homer points to a sign that says **Now Entering Cleveland, Ohio. Whether You Like It Or Not**

What they didn't know was that Bob has harnessed himself to the bottom of their car once again when they were at a stoplight. _When they stop, not only will their trip end, but their lives! _Bob laughs quietly and continues to hang on to the bottom of the car.

The Simpsons make their way to Cleveland. "The Simpsons are going to Cleveland!" Homer says as he drives. They drive downtown and park in a garage. "Let's take in the sights, gang." Marge says as she gets out of the car. She takes a picture of the kids as they get out. "Hey, the Rock And Roll Hall of Fame."

"Ooh, all of the greats are here," Lisa says. "Ray Charles, Elvis, the Beatles and so many more. Can we go dad? Can we?"

"Yeah, let's do it! I wonder if they have any food in here..." They walk into the museum.

Sideshow Bob detaches himself from the bottom of the car. "The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? This may be a challenge." Bob runs in.

As the Simpsons walk around viewing the various artists, Bob is following them around trying to kill them. His first attempt is using one of the guitars like a bow and arrow and firing an arrow at Bart's head. He brought the arrow in with him. He fires and misses. The arrow hits a drum and flies back at him. It gets stuck in his hair. He tries to pull it out, but can't.

Next, he hides behind a mannaquin and waits for Bart to pass by. He picks up a guitar and swings it at Bart when he passes by. Unfortunatly, since he wasn't looking, he hit the wrong person. The person he hits goes flying back into some drums. Bob runs away.

And over the course of the day, Bob continues to try to kill the Simpsons in various ways in the museum. Failing at every try. The Simpsons come out of the museum, unscathed. "Wow, who knew a museum could be interesting." Homer said.

"See, dad? Museums aren't all bad." Lisa says as the walk down the street.

"Yes they are Lisa, yes they are..."

As they continue to walk, Bob emerges from the museum, beaten and battered and bruised. "Who knew that a museum, a place of learning, would be my downfall. No matter, I shall kill them at the next stop." Bob limps away.

Shortly after that, the Simpsons decide to do a little shopping. "Ooh, a department store. Let's go in Homie." Marge looks at the entrance.

"Awww, do we have to Marge?" Homer whines.

"I'll let you buy as much food as you want."

"Let's go!!" Homer runs inside. Everyone else follows.

Bob slowly makes his way to the store. He limps his way into it.

Marge, Lisa and Maggie took the elevator and went to a clothing and perfume department. Homer and Bart were looking for food. They take the elevator almost to the top and reach a section filled with cubicles. They exit the elevator. Homer looks around. "Hey, there's no food here! Just a bunch of deadbeats. Let's go, boy." Homer walks back into the elevator.

"Wait, dad. I see someone that I think I know..." They run over to a cubicle where, sure enough, Mimi Bobeck is sitting.

"What do you two want?" A lady wearing way too much makeup asks.

"Hey look, it's a clown!"

She growls. "I'm not a clown you dolt. I'm a secretary. What do you two want?" She asks again.

"Just passing by." Homer says as he sits in Drew's desk. "Hey, this chair's kinda comfy. My but fits perfectly into this groove."

"Look's like your ass is as big as the last pig's!" Mimi laughs.

"Nice!" Bart high fives Mimi. "I thought you were a TV character." Bart says to Mimi.

"Have you seen me on tv or in movies lately?"

"No."

"Then I'm not a TV character."

Mr. Wick comes out of his office. "Carey, I--you're not Carey!"

"I"m Homer Simpson." Homer says to Mr. Wick.

"Yes, well, just file these, will you?" He hands Homer some files and walks into his office.

"Good job Homer, now you have two jobs you suck at." Bart laughs.

"Hey, look it's almost three o'clock."

"So?" Bart asks.

"So? At three o'clock Drew gets off and sings Cleveland Rocks!"

Strangely enough, Cleveland Rocks begins to play loud enough for everyone to hear. Homer gets up, but Wick stops him. He points to his watch and then the clock. Homer sits back down. Homer gets up slowly and Wick points to the clock, it is now Three O'clock. Everyone runs out into the streets. Bob fights his way through the crowd to try and get to Homer and Bart. Homer runs up to a hot dog vendor, only to find that he is out of money. They run to an ATM machine. Homer gets his money and meets up with Marge. "Homie, what's happening?"

"Musical moment. Keep dancing!" He spins her away.

Bart picks up Lisa and throws her in the air. Bob is next he raises his axe and swings, but misses Bart. Wick is next. He has a beautiful lady around his arm, but Mimi spins her away. Wick looks disappointed. Everyone is now at a baseball game. Homer calls a vendor for a hot dog. He passes down the money and the people pass the hot dog back. Homer drops the hot dog to catch a ball coming at him. Bart catches it to make Homer angry.

They are now in the parking lot, seemingly tailgating. Homer stands on the back of a truck. Bart is dancing with some people on the ground. Bob looks around for Bart, all while dancing against his will. Everyone chants "Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks!" Bob sees Bart and dives for him but Bart dances out of the way. Homer is also diving for something, a hot dog. He jumps off the truck to catch a hot dog that someone threw in the air for him. He lands in a truck, knocking down a beer can pyramid that the people made. They drive off as Homer screams. Marge and family follow. Bob gets up and follows them.

The people in the truck toss Homer out after a little while. He gets up and reaches into his pocket. He pulls out his reading glasses which are now broken. Bart shows Homer the sign **Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame**. They are back to where they were earlier. Homer and family run in. Bart takes a guitar and smashes an exhibit. He takes the glasses off the mannequin and hands them to Homer. He tries them on and nods. Bob is hanging on the ceiling. He cuts the wire to a light. It falls and barely misses Bart as they run off. He falls to the ground.

They are now in an abandoned parking lot. They keep singing "Cleveland Rocks" over and over again. Eventually, Homer and family run up to a little stand. Homer says "OHIO!" and this echos through the night. He raises his arms in the air. The song ends. Drew Carey is with the family for some reason. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

Drew looks at the people. "This is my theme song." Everyone stares at him. "I'll go now..." Drew walks away.

**END FLASHBACK**

"You tried to kill me with a guitar? Are you running out of ideas?" Bart taunts Bob.

"I'll have you know I had many different methods of killing you--"

"All of which failed!!" Bart laughs.

"Do you want me to continue my story or not?" Bob asks.

Homer responds. "Not really."

"Well, too bad. I'm continuing on. Now, aft--"

"Can I have a beer?" Homer interrupts.

Bob sighs. "Fine." He opens a beer, sticks a straw in it and sets it on Homer's stomach. It balances and Homer sips beer through the straw.

"Mmmmm...Beer."


	6. A Bob Well Done

**I'm sad to say this story is coming to a close. This is the second to last chapter. It's been fun, but I don't think I can write much more of this to be honest. Here's chapter six.**

**

* * *

**

Chapter Six: A Bob Well Done

Bob clicks the slide a few times. "My, there sure is a lot of these pictures of Ohio." He says as he goes through several pictures.

"I had the camera!" Homer says.

"Yes, I can tell. Most of these are just pictures of your feet." Each picture shows Homer's feet as he clicks through. At one point it turns into a flip book as it shows Homer dropping a donut, then picking it up, and then eating it as crumbs hit the ground. Bob finds a picture of the Simpsons on the road. "Ah, finally onto the next state!"

Cecil appears in the window. "Excuse me, are you almost done here?"

"I told you to wait at the hotel, brother."

"I've been waiting for hours!" He climbs in the window. As does the entire Terwilliger family. "You said you were going to pop out to kill them and be back in an hour." Cecil walks up to Bob. "But now you stand here telling them a story, am I right?"

"Yes." Bob says, ashamed. "Please, have a seat, family." They sit in the back.

Homer sees Cecil. "Hey, it's Sideshow Bob's brother!"

"My name is--Wait, who?" Bob asks Homer.

"Cecil."

"Not him, me!!" Bob shouts.

Homer stares for a few seconds. "Who are you?"

"Gah!" Bob walks back to the projector.

"Great, more freaks." Patty says.

"Excuse me, can I have a roll?" Homer asks.

Bob looks at the table. "I-I don't see any here."

"They're in the kitchen." Homer explains. Bob sighs and walks to the kitchen."Extra butter!" Homer shouts to Bob.

Lisa gets an idea. "Dad, that's it! Butter!! We can use it to slip out of the rope." She whispers to Homer.

"Awwww, I wanted to eat it."

"You can have it afterwords." Lisa snaps back,

"Make sure it's warm!!" Homer shouts to Bob. Bob puts it in the microwave.

Cecil walks up to Patty. "And who are you, my dear?" Cecil asks. Patty growls. Cecil walks slowly back to his seat.

Bob brings the rolls to Homer. He sticks one in Homer's mouth. The melted butter is dripping off. "Happy?" Homer grunts. "Good." Bob smiles and walks back to the projector.

When Bob turns his back to Homer, Homer springs into action. He spits the roll out of his mouth and over his head. The roll lands in his hand. "Go, Homer!" Bart whispers. Homer slips out of the rope. He walks up behind Bob.

He taps Bob on the shoulder. "Take this, Barrack!" Homer hits Bob in the head with the rake. Bob falls to the ground, unconscious.

"Dad, where did you get that rake?" Lisa asks, confused.

"I...don't...know." Homer sets the rake down. He picks up Bob's gun. "Now," He points the gun at the Terwilligers. "Do something."

Marge takes the gun. "I got this, Homie. Everyone, get in a circle! Go, go, go!" The Terwilligers do. Homer sets Bob up against Cecil. "Kids, tie 'em up."

Bart and Lisa do so. Homer looks at Bob. He jumps back."Ahh!! Sideshow Bob!!"

"Now, you remember his name, dad?" Bart asks.

Homer looks up. "I'm hungry. Ooh, rolls!" He takes the roll of the floor and eats it. "Mmmmmm...floor roll."


	7. An Ending Fit For A Bob

**Here it is, the probably anti-climatic ending to Slideshow Slideshow:**

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**An Ending Fit For A Bob**

The Simpsons call the cops and an hour later, they come. Cheif Wiggum cuffs Bob, who is awake. "Sorry about the lateness, we would've been here sooner, but Lou bet me that I couldn't eat a whole large pizza. I won the bet."

"Uh, don't be too proud of that chief." Lou says as he cuffs Cecil.

"Lou, can you let me have this one victory, please? Let's go boys." Wiggum walks Bob out the door.

Bob stops and turns to the Simpsons. "I'll be back, Simpsons. Bet on it!! Sooner or later, the author will write me out and I shall return!!"

"Alright, enough breaking the fourth wall, pal. Let's go." Wiggum walks Bob out the door. The Terwilligers follow. Homer goes and shuts it.

Homer turns to the family. "What did he mean write me out? He made it sound like we're characters in a story!" Homer and family laugh. "Yeah, right."

"Everything is back to normal." Homer says.

They go and sit on the couch. "Anyone up for finishing my slide presentation?" Marge asks.

"Mom, I think we've had enough slides for one day." Lisa responds.

"Hey, where's Grandpa?" Homer asks, looking around.

"Yeah, I haven't seen him since we left." Bart says.

Just then, Grandpa comes bursting through the wall in Marge's car. "Grandpa, are you okay?" Marge says as she runs in.

"There's no brakes in this stinkin thing!!"

"Yup, back to normal." Bart responds.

"Mmmmmm...ending." Homer drools.

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**And there it is. The end...for now. Maybe I'll come back and add some more chapters in the future. More states, maybe. It could happen. I hope you enjoyed the ride. Sorry to end it all so soon, friends. Bye-bye.**


End file.
